The move from hell

Where here it is the post I promised. The move from hell. Lets start with the months we waited to find out if we were going to be moving or not. Then we find out we are moving and then we don't know when. Then we have to deal with selling a house in this market. Then the big day arrives. Our moving day. My husband is supposed to be off work to help with the move but when does anything ever go as planned? So he ends up making it just in time to help me load the animals and the kids and off we go. Did I mention he is not feeling well? So we arrive at our new place and the first day were here I was awed by the beauty of my new surroundings. I have never seen leaves change colors. Its beautiful. Everywhere you look is a different color tree, red, yellow, orange, its just amazing. I find my way to the store with no major mishaps and the children and I commence to cleaning. The next day our stuff arrived and we started living in box land. We are still living in box land, let me explain before you think I am lazy. My husband ends up sick and going to the emergency room, he has a abscess on his tonsils that was swelling his throat shut. After two different emergency room visits we are finally back home. The next day we actually got some unpacking done. But that afternoon all I wanted to was sleep. That feeling you get when you are first pregnant and all you can do is sleep. Yeah that feeling. But no I am not expecting. I ended up with the flu and some kind of throat infection. I literally wanted to die. For some reason I just don't think Mississippi likes us very much. It hasn't been very good to us so far. Hopefully one day I can unpack and settle in. As of right now I haven't ate in 3 days and all I have the energy for is to sit here and whine about how much life sucks. If you are still reading this you must really like me and thanks for listening.

Hannah Montana Naked

This is the first time my boys have shared a room. So today they were supposed to unpack boxes in their new room. What really happened was more playing than unpacking. In the midst of this chaos I was unpacking the kitchen and I heard a awful lot of giggling. I went to investigate and all I could hear was Ryan yelling at the top of his lungs " I got Hannah Montana Naked"! I am sure he is not the first boy to desire such thing. So I step into the room and low and behold he sure has. He must have found a box of his sister's stuff mixed in with theirs and found a Hannah Montana Doll and took her clothes on. This does not disturb me, what disturbs me is what happened next. He managed to find Hunter Dan, Hunter Dan is the boy hunting doll you can buy at the Bass Pro Shop all good little Redneck Boys have one, and proceeds to strip Hunter Dan down to his glory and then redress him in Hannah Montana's clothes. So now we have a naked Hannah Montana and Hunter Dan dressed in drag. In further moving news hubby is still sick as a dog and can't help unpack and the dog is still freaking out and peeing on things, he does this every time we move, stupid ass pugs. Oh and I still pretty much live in box land.

Moving

I just wanted to pop in and let you guys know I have not abandon ya'll. We moved already and I just got my Internet back on. I have 200 boxes to unpack. I am not exaggerating, that's really how many I have. So I will have lots of moving posts to share soon. I just need to get my house in order, cause right now I live in box land, its kind of like a homeless village but warm and dry.

Halloween

Picture this if you will. A home in the suburbs on Halloween night, the anticipation is on overload. Now fill it with 10 kids and let the chaos began. As groups of children are running around home my I am trying to get my kids in their costumes. I spent about 15 minutes on Taylor's hair trying to tease some volume into it. I get it all fixed and this is a chore, her hair is stick straight. I grabbed the hairspray. I went all out and got black, purple and purple glitter hairsprays to match her costume. I tell her to cover her face and I spray. I spray silly string. I grabbed the wrong damn can. Now she is screaming and manages to get it from me while I am laughing hysterically, people are running into my bedroom trying to see whats going on and the silly string war is on. There was purple silly string all over my house and I had to redo her hair. I should also mention how bad silly string tastes when sprayed directly into your mouth while you are laughing like a loon. Finally we got it under control and our trick or treating commenced. I am still finding random patches of silly string but I am not worried I leave here in three days and it the new owners can just guess as to what kind of craziness went on in this house.

Perverts

For once in my life I am talking about perverts and I am not referring to myself. I had a bit of a blow today. I didn't do my research before I bought a house. I just ASSumed that because I lived by a school there would be no sex offenders around. That's what happens when I ASSume things. I forgot that if they can live by a school if they lived there before they committed the crime. So now I am the proud owner of a home located half a mile from Chester the Child Molester. This does not please me. I am trying to make myself feel better that Mr. Chester is 74. Surly he will die soon right? Fall break his hip and no longer be able to walk? The old grandpa on Family Guy that is always after Chris doesn't seem so funny anymore. What they hell was I thinking? I might have to trade in my pug for a pitbull.

Excuse me while I have a nervous breakdown

I know I have said in the past that I was going to crack up. But the possibility is really here this time. This move is getting to me. The kids are getting to me. My parents visit totally ruined me. I mean sitting in the corner drooling on myself with a straitjacket gotten to me. How can you live to be a certain age *cough 56* and not know how to get along with people? Just normal human beings. How can one person be so cool and marry someone so not cool? It blows my mind. Anyway I survived and they are gone and I will miss my Dad but I am glad he took his wife home.

When did this happen?

Yesterday after school I was sitting in the car waiting for my oldest to get off the bus. I had already picked up the younger two. So as I sit there the buses arrive and he is just standing there talking. I was early and he wasn't expecting me. So we sit there and observe as he macks on this group of girls. His wingman, aka my 4th child, by his side. I am dumbfounded. It was just yesterday that I made my mom park behind the middle school when she picked me up because I didn't want my friends to see me. I wasn't being mean really all the guys in school hit on her, but that's another post followed closely by a therapy session. So I find myself as the mom who sits in her minivan and watches her son hit on girls. When the hell did this happen? I demand a recount! Seriously when I had the kids I was always too young. Now I am old. I have decided that my kids made me old. If I was a single girl living in New York City I would be in my prime, doing well enough in my career to afford great shoes and just now thinking about marriage and kids. So there its all their fault that I am feeling old at 30.