I love my house

Today I am loving my home. Usually I wish for a different one. I want more yard, bigger this, better that. But today I just love my home. The flowers are growing outside and look beautiful. It smells like the chicken I have in the crock pot, which later will be turned into chicken noodle soup and chicken salad on croissants. Its fairly clean. Clean enough that I don't feel bad getting on the computer rather than picking up. Maybe its the stress relief of school being over. My happiness abounds on that issue. Maybe I am just grateful that I have a nice home in a nice place and most people don't. Its so easy to take things for granted. Its so easy to always want more. But today I am just happy with what I have. I also haven't updated about the Beast and I parting ways. Yes the Beast is no longer with us. I am now driving a Honda van, one that I have to admit I didn't want. I just wanted my Beast. But now I love it. Its really a nice vehicle. The other day I was driving down the road and my cd player is a 6 disc so it flipped to the next disc and it was Sublime, now this is not news but a song came on and I got to listening to it. Now mind you I have heard this cd a million times and I was like what is that noise. It was the water bubbling in the bong, I have never heard that before, that's how much my new vans stereo kicks ass. I now hearing bong bubbles! Anyhoo the moral of this post is I am happy with what I got and I am loving life, and I hope everyone else is too!

May 13, 1997

Eleven years ago today I gave birth for the first time. I was scared, confused, lost, and in a lot of pain. Today my little girl became such a big girl. We didn't have a party for the first time. She got her hair highlighted and went shopping. We had lunch with her best friend and her mom, and her restaurant of choice was Olive Garden. We had cheesecake for her birthday cake. It's amazing to me to watch this child grow up on her journey of becoming a woman. Today I felt like she took a big step closer. I know that she is constantly growing and changing but it seemed like today of all days she really grew up. Long gone are the days when she wants toys. As I think about the past and the future, I realize I am still scared and confused and lost. I am scared that I am doing things wrong, I am confused by the things that children do, and I am lost in this new tween world of hers. There is also the pain of child rearing, its not much better than the pain of childbirth. Your child has the ability to rip your heart out with a sentence or a act just as easily as they ripped through you to enter this world. But today I am just celebrating my child, trying not to worry and just enjoy her while I have her, as she is fast approaching her womanhood.

Party like a Rockstar!

So last night was my big moms night out. The first since my birthday. I had so many plans. Those plans involve drinks, bars, dancing and high heels. So first of all my foot is still bothering me from the pulled tendon, so I was wearing flats. Then some friends could not make it and started just getting tired and out of the mood. So I ended up having dinner out with the Queen, having a major hot flash and not wanting to finish my margarita. Yes I am aware that I am 30 but I have been having them for a couple of years now due to my pmdd. So we came back home and sat and talked about having babies. Rockstars we are! Really we get away from the kids and talk about the kids. Then she goes home and call my friend who had my kids and get my boys back. That's right my big night out and I am home with my kids who were gone for the night and in bed by 10:30. Jealous aren't ya'll? Maybe next time I will tie one on, last night was just not the night for me.