Today I shop

So today I leave for Mississippi to look for a new house. We have narrowed it down to like a million. No more like 20. But when you factor in the three kids we are taking with us that makes it a million. Like my math skills? So anyway I am off on another daring trip to Mississippi, who knows what adventures will await me, maybe I will end up getting another tooth pulled, get lost trying to find the highway, or end up in a town with nothing to eat while starving? Or maybe it will be nothing like my last trip. At least I get to see my husband, too bad we are going to have the kids, all three, in the same hotel as us. I swear they have sex radar, we waited till they all went to sleep and tried to sneak in the bathroom and boom one of them knocking on the door asking us what we were doing. If you ever find yourself in this situation let me tell you what to say, because you might not be able to think fast on your feet. You just yell out I am in the damn shower and your daddy is taking a crap what you do think we are doing now go back to bed. Your welcome.

I seen the Queen

I did it! I went to see Gretchen Wilson, aka Queen of the Redneck Women, in concert. I am talking about touched her hand close! It was awesome. I took my best friend and we had the best time ever! The concert was great, we gambled, drank, partied in the clubs and did it all with our cowboy boots on, that's right we ain't scared. Screw high heels when you can wear your shitkickers. It's probably the last time I will see her before I move even farther away and I am so glad I got to spend this weekend with her, there is no one else on earth I would rather stand in line for two hours with. Oh and the best pick up line ever goes to the guy in the club who told Mantha he would shine her belt buckle for her.

Rednecks don't shop at Target

This morning I went to do some grocery shopping at my local SuperTarget, oh how I love the SuperTarget. Just a normal little grocery list, until I get to the milk section. I had pulled out my trusty Paula Deen cookbook and was going to make her banana nut bread. So I stand today in the milk section hunting for buttermilk, see I am redneck we hunt for our food. Cow milk, soy milk, organic milk, coffee creamer, tea, juice, where the hell is the goddamn buttermilk? Well the answer is across the street at Walmart, Target doesn't carry buttermilk. Well there goes my high class Supertarget shopping, my ass belongs at Walmart or WinnDixie where they sell buttermilk.