Today I shop

So today I leave for Mississippi to look for a new house. We have narrowed it down to like a million. No more like 20. But when you factor in the three kids we are taking with us that makes it a million. Like my math skills? So anyway I am off on another daring trip to Mississippi, who knows what adventures will await me, maybe I will end up getting another tooth pulled, get lost trying to find the highway, or end up in a town with nothing to eat while starving? Or maybe it will be nothing like my last trip. At least I get to see my husband, too bad we are going to have the kids, all three, in the same hotel as us. I swear they have sex radar, we waited till they all went to sleep and tried to sneak in the bathroom and boom one of them knocking on the door asking us what we were doing. If you ever find yourself in this situation let me tell you what to say, because you might not be able to think fast on your feet. You just yell out I am in the damn shower and your daddy is taking a crap what you do think we are doing now go back to bed. Your welcome.

I seen the Queen

I did it! I went to see Gretchen Wilson, aka Queen of the Redneck Women, in concert. I am talking about touched her hand close! It was awesome. I took my best friend and we had the best time ever! The concert was great, we gambled, drank, partied in the clubs and did it all with our cowboy boots on, that's right we ain't scared. Screw high heels when you can wear your shitkickers. It's probably the last time I will see her before I move even farther away and I am so glad I got to spend this weekend with her, there is no one else on earth I would rather stand in line for two hours with. Oh and the best pick up line ever goes to the guy in the club who told Mantha he would shine her belt buckle for her.

Rednecks don't shop at Target

This morning I went to do some grocery shopping at my local SuperTarget, oh how I love the SuperTarget. Just a normal little grocery list, until I get to the milk section. I had pulled out my trusty Paula Deen cookbook and was going to make her banana nut bread. So I stand today in the milk section hunting for buttermilk, see I am redneck we hunt for our food. Cow milk, soy milk, organic milk, coffee creamer, tea, juice, where the hell is the goddamn buttermilk? Well the answer is across the street at Walmart, Target doesn't carry buttermilk. Well there goes my high class Supertarget shopping, my ass belongs at Walmart or WinnDixie where they sell buttermilk.

House Hunting

I have been house hunting recently. I don't know if its just because Mississippi is 20 years behind the rest of the world or if they just have really bad taste in the area I might be moving to, but oh dear lord the houses are atrocious! I can't look at another listing without throwing up. Wallpaper is not cool! Ever! Wood paneling should be torn down at the earliest possible convenience. Big huge puffy artificial flower arrangements are not proper decor and for the love of god anything MAUVE should be taken to the dump immediately. Don't even stop at that red light just take it there. What I really want to know is where the hell are these men? I know good and well they don't like this shit. Take your balls back out of your woman's purse and tear down some flowers and hang your deer head up. I am so ashamed of my possible future home. Its sad when you think Alabama is the better place to live. And on a further update his interview is tomorrow so I should know something here in the next day or week or when ever they decide we have waited long enough.

I drank the koolaid.

Actually not only did I drink the koolaid but I am now running around with a funnel trying to share my lurve with everyone! I am obessed with my new ipod. I say new but actually what I mean is my first ipod ever. I have been a creative fan for 5 years and recently went with a sansa, but finally after one too many car trips with my family I decided I am going ipod, I want video. I am beyond estatic. I swear you get addicted just touching it. Really you do. It is so freaking cool. I can now listen to all my music and watch pretty in pink and the 16 candles all in one pink plastic covered device. Oh and the accesories! Oh there are so many choices. Its good to go with the rest of the lemmings somtimes, they have more choices. I am totally converted. So much that I think my next computer will be a, gasp, mac. Yep I said it. After years of refusing anything to do with Apple I am now totally sleeping with the enemy, hell I am a total slut for them.

Priceless

Monster Truck Tickets- $52.00

Concession Stand- $20.50

Souvenir Stand- $58.00

Parking at Civic Center- $5.00

Seeing the look on my son's face when he saw Gravedigger for the first time- Absolutely Priceless

A day at the beach

Yesterday a friend invited me to come out to her beach house with her. I sorta didn't want to because I have this overwhelming need to not commit to anything because I don't want to get up and have to be somewhere. But I said yes and drug my tired ass out of bed, its tired cause it stays up all night keeping the rest of me up with it. We packed 4 kids in the van and off we go. We swam, kayaked, played, ate, and just hung out. We ended up having a awesome time and I was able to relax and even have fun playing with my kids. It seems like everything has been so overwhelming and they have been on my nerves so much that its been hard for me to have fun with them. But we did and it was a blast and I am so glad I did. I came home feeling so good, relaxed and at peace. I didn't mind my slight sunburn or my cut up feet, my feet have some special magnet that also are in oyster shells.